it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
