He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
