It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
