I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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