see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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