Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
