the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
