Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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