I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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