Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
