I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
