therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
