my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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