what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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