trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
