When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
