My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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