DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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