this just has baby written all over it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I need to calm my uterus...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
