i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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