sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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