i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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