Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
