Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
