i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
