NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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