Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
