Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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