It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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