So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He has the fingertips of a God
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