dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
