they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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