I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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