when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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