Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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