I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
