when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
