I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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