Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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