I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
