Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
