guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
