Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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