Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize