apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
