I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
