I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
