I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
