He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
