it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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