my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
