What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
