Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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