I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
