look no pants
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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