This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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